Yesterday: Sick day for the kiddos. Two of our three tested positive for Strep the prior evening, so they started antibiotics immediately and we kept them away from the outside world so as to not continue spreading it.
The bad news: They missed school & friends & everything that happens on a typical Tuesday.
The good news: They hardly had noteworthy symptoms, so they really felt fine. Which meant … I got kind of a “free day” with all 3 kiddos. Yay us.
Welcome to my world: After sleeping in – serious yay — we had a little family council. (This is so me to do this. I get it from my parents.) Together, we came up with a list of what we hoped to accomplish in the day since no one was laying around “being” sick. I reminded the kids that each day when they go to school I have a checklist of things I hope to get done. Every. Single. Day. — that is my life. It’s how I stay focused, stay on track, and get so much done. They were on-board. As long as there was fun.
The first item checked? Climbing a tree, of course. By the end of the day, the only thing we didn’t check off was practicing piano & picking up the backyard. There’s always tomorrow.
So our day was really productive — a nice balance of work + fun. Just as it should be.
…..
The reason I share this? All day long a thought kept coming to my mind over and over and over. It’s something that one of my college professors shared some 15 year ago and I’ll never forget it.
“The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.”
It was one of my Family Science classes and she encouraged us to say it over & over so we wouldn’t forget it.
The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.
The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.
The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.
Okay, you get the idea. You see — when you think deeply about what this means, it completely changes the way you view every little activity you engage in with a loved one. Going on a date with your spouse, playing a game with your child, talking on the phone with your sister … these are obviously relationship-strengthening things. But think about the little, everyday, mundane stuff.
Think about working on homework with your child. Yes, the purpose is to help her excel. But the purpose is also to strengthen your relationship with her. And when you think about that, well … you become more patient, more encouraging, more engaging, more interested in making this a happy memory for her.
Think about making dinner with your husband. Yes, the purpose is to put food on the table for your family. But when you consider that another important purpose is to strengthen your relationship with him, you find yourself feeling kinder, more apt to ask him about his day and listen intently while preparing food together.
Think about paying bills.
Okay, never mind. But seriously — This line really does affect the way you feel about a task and how you feel about the person you’re doing it with.
Checklists are fantastic. Relationships are more important.
…
***SPECIAL ADDITION***
I created a 4×6 print with this line in the next post HERE.
This is so good– I love that thought– that the tasky stuff of life can be, in the right spirit, a relationship builder. Makes me want to be more positive and proactive about how I frame the “to dos” at our house.
Love this thought. I often feel overwhelmed at my daily to do list and this is a wonderful, new way to look at the items on that list. Thanks for the insight Becky!
Becky, this is a fantastic post! I love it! I make my list almost every day (never do all of it in a day – ha!). I just love the line “The purpose of the task is to strengthen the relationship.” I have to make it into Subway art. Soooo fantastic! It does make you stop, think and appreciate.
Have a wonderful day!
Michaela
I can’t tell you how on point in my life this post is right now. I feel at a point of a lot of turmoil about the way my life is going. I have been feeling like my life is out of control and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I want to be happy but I can’t seem to get myself there. This post kind of puts the perspective to me today. I have just been going through the motions and not actually living with the people in my house. I seem to have become a slave to the tasks. So thanks for the post, you have no idea how much I needed those words. Strengthen the relationship, I seriously have to stop worrying about the task and worry about the relationship. It’s amazing how words can affect us and you have affected me in a deep way today. THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
Wow. This post was just what I needed today! I am going to write that down and say it over and over and over again.
WOW what a wonderful statement. Thank you so much, you have breathed new life into my list making world.
a random question… what do you use to store all of your photos? Do you use more than one storage and backup system for your photos? I’m asking because you probably have a huge number of photos. do you keep them on your internal hd or only off your internal hd?
Just hoping you can go into a little detail here or maybe give a link.
Love that quote. It is going on a post-it RIGHT NOW. What a great reminder . . . thanks for sharing.
I love that idea – thank you so much. It was what I needed to hear.
Thank You so much for sharing Becky!! This is a powerful thought.
Totally took me back to my days as a FS major too (I’m thinking we may have even been in some classes together). I so loved this quote, but had forgotten it until just recently! It really is the “bottom-line” isn’t it! I love the perspective it gives! Becky – you’re great!
PS: LOVE your fridge!
Thank you! This is exactly what I needed this rainy winter day. I’m going to make my list right now!
We obviously had the same class, same school, same professor. Thanks for the reminder. I needed that!
Thank you so much! I have been home for a week with four kids, the flu, and a husband out of town. It has been hard to remain positive and focused on what’s important. Thank you so much for the reminder!
this is great!! i just starting doing my to do list each and everyday and this is a very good point to add to it! if anyone needs help with a to do list take this little 30 day challenge, it starts again March 1st. http://www.30daypush.com, it is totally free and really helped me focus.
Awesome post and thought, Becky! Love you as always!
great way of looking at things…..I’d be lost w/o my lists!Hope your kiddies are feeling better.
I would LOVE to see your check list. I do one too but its stuff like vaccum and laundry…
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by stacy julian, Irishgal99, smith521, Lore Dahlstrom, Becky Higgins and others. Becky Higgins said: A different perspective on your to-do list. This can change the way your view your tasks. http://tinyurl.com/46zzv56 [...]
Thank you for this saying. As a homemaker, somedays you feel more motivated than others. If its all for our relationships, then it is ALL worth it. Thanks for the reminder!
This was something that I really needed to read today. Thanks for sharing this Becky!
Amen. Love it.
Thanks so much for sharing that thought!
Thanks for sharing this. This statement was one I needed to hear.
Brings back memories of Family Science at BYU!
Thanks Becky!!
As a stay at home mom, this is exactly what I needed to hear today!! This quote is going up in my home for sure!!
Thank you so much!!
I SO needed this post today. this great. really great.
Thanks you for this – I needed to hear it. Thank you!
L.O.V.E. Thank you. As a working mom to three busy teens, I often lose sight of this concept, not only at home, but also in my job as an administrator at an elementary school. I needed this wake up call…slow down and make the task about the relationship. Thank you thank you thank you!
My two kiddos have had strep too this past week! I’ve been running around like crazy and that quote was great to see!
Love the colors on the todo list. Very cheery! Also love the knobs on the cupboard.
A new Mantra, thank you!
What a wonderful post! I love how insightful you are.
I love this!…writing a post and linking back to you
Thanks for sharing this, Becky…I LOVE that saying! Sometimes I really don’t like the tasks, but that’s not what it’s all about anyway.
I like this…I definitely need to re-connect on a personal level with those I have neglected due to increasing demands at school (I’m a teacher) and in our family (multi-sports and musical demands). Thank you!
I love the free downloads you often make. I was just thinking that this would make a PERFECT one!!! Hint, hint!! Any chance you’d be willing to make a cute frame-able of this quote?
OOOOOH – I agree… this quote would be a fantastic downloadable piece of artwork!! I’d love to frame this in my home and keep it in the forefront of my thinking.
This is a wonderful post, thank you for sharing. I want to get a vinyl with these words for my kitchen!!
More importantly, what is that absolutely gorgeous Armoire piece you put the list on in your kitchen?
LOVE IT
katieshowto.blogspot.com
Ok that was a timely thing to read. I have to do something I’m not really looking forwad to but when I look atit as strengthening the relationship and the relationship does need strengthening then suddenly it makes a whole heap more sense and I feel better. Thank you
ahhh i soo needed this especially the homework thought…
Fantastic inspirational post. Strengthening my relationships is one of my top priorities for 2011. I’m going to paint the doors to the cabinets in my craft room with chalkboard paint and write on there inspirational messages – this one just made my list! Thanks!
That is extremely profound. It applies far beyond home-making tasks.
Wow. What if everyone approached everything this way?? World-changing stuff.
Thank you for sharing this idea—I love when people pass on the wisdom they’ve learned. We’re struggling with teaching a few skills around here (riding without training wheels and tying shoes—two different sons), and I know this phrase will have a huge impact on changing the dynamic.
Love the post…gave me something to think about as I was completing tasks. How do you make your to do lists? Pen and paper or computer? I have done both, but wonder what you do.
[...] « the purpose of the task. [...]
Oh my! This is outstanding!
I love the way you look at things. It’s so refreshing and inspiring.
I SOOO needed to read this post. I just read some depressing & icky articles in a women’s magazine that talked about women being okay with & fascinated by other women’s affairs. It just really reinforced in my mind the ever present need to strengthen my relationships – being positive, being encouraging, being present in their lives. Acknowledging the CHOICE I made to marry & have children. This quote is just another great reminder… thanks!
Love love this post. I think family is so important and it takes a lot of effort and time to strengthen relationships. Thanks for the quote.
Do you seriously have turquoise subway tile for a back splash? We do need to be friends.
I have been looking for the same thing in green.
I LOVE this! Of all quotes I have ever read– this one is soo meaningful to me. Thank You!
It doesn’t print off very well like your other free downloads.
Thank you so much for this quote! I decided to scrap and frame it so that I could continue reflecting on it: http://scrappingmomof3.blogspot.com/2011/02/purpose-of-task-framed-thought.html
[...] week, I read a post from Becky Higgins about “the purpose of the task.” Basically, she said that the purpose of every task we engage in with our children or spouses, or [...]
[...] wanted to say thank you for your recent blog post about “strengthening the relationship”. My daughter, Ella, has a project due in school tomorrow that required her to create a flag with [...]
[...] I am. Sharing. And I’ll keep this short, because you’ll have to read Becky’s Post too. Maybe you too will be enriched with a new idea… [...]
[...] a recent visit to her website I found this entry that included this downloadable [...]
[...] The Purpose of the Task. Hannah Mize said, That particular post came on a day when I needed to hear those words more than [...]
I have happened across this post and needed to let you know that even after more than a year it still touches lives. I am facing some very difficult choices in my cancer journey, and this quote has helped me put some perspective into everything. thank you. they aren’t just choices for ME, but they truly do effect the other people in my family, probably more than I am aware of.
enjoy your weekend!
I am curious which blogging platform you’re running? I’m new
to running a blog and have been thinking about using the WordPress platform.
Do you consider this is a good platform to start with?
I would be really grateful if I could ask you some questions through email so
I can learn a bit more prior to getting started. When you have some free time,
please get in touch with me at: krystalvance@gmail.
com. Thanks!
[...] freebie from Becky [...]