It’s my tag line. It’s the meaning behind the products we create. It’s also one of my core philosophies in life. And it’s how I hope to inspire you. In fact, this very simple phrase sums up the foundation of why I even have a blog.
To cultivate a good life means a million different things. That’s why nearly every day I share one specific thought to ponder – and hopefully implement – as we each strive to cultivate a good life (I share these little notes on facebook + twitter). But today I feel the need to elaborate in a way that 140 characters doesn’t allow.
I watched and listened to a remarkable talk on Saturday. The speaker was Dieter F. Uchtdorf. Some of you know him, many of you do not. But his message – clear as day and incredibly poignant – is for every woman I know. I have been thinking about some stuff recently and his talk was the icing on my cake of thoughts. I just wanted to share what’s been on my mind, some of which came from listening to his talk. Someone needs this today – probably a lot of somebodies.
Please, please, please don’t compare yourself to others. Many of you are just too hard on yourself when you feel like you’re not measuring up. Your best friend is prettier. Your sister has the perfect marriage. Your co-worker is more skilled. Your neighbor is thinner. Your sister-in-law is more organized. That woman you see nearly every day in passing is just so put together and always looks amazing (and chances are, you’ve put off even saying hi or introducing yourself, just based on her looks).
I lovingly say – Enough!
Part of cultivating a good life is being grateful for your life. Celebrate your successes – especially the little, everyday successes. Certainly you can and should look to others for upliftment and inspiration and ideas and ways that help you improve. That’s all good + healthy + exactly how we can bless each others’ lives. But when you look at others in a way that make you feel like your life is sub-standard? Well, that’s just detrimental. You know what a lot – a LOT – of women do? We compare our weaknesses to someone elses strengths. I’ve done it. You’ve done it.
Um – hello? Is this fair? Does this make any sense at all? No wonder men think we’re complicated!
Stop punishing yourself. When you do this, you are stopping your progression. You have your happiness in a holding pattern. It’s so unfair to you, and in fact – it’s unfair to the people you love most, and who love you most. Whether or not you think it affects you … it does. It affects your self-worth and your confidence. And when these things slip, your most treasured relationships can be affected.
Here’s the truth. We all have trials. We all have insecurities. We all have a million weaknesses. While it’s tempting to look at someone else and think “they’ve got it all” or “they’re life is so perfect” … you’re forgetting that they’re human. You’re forgetting that they have things going on in their life that you don’t have a clue about. Heartache, loss, pain, burdens, fears, health issues, emotional concerns, family struggles. I assure you – their life is not perfect.
Be gentle with yourself. And be gentle with others. Do not be so quick to judge. Do be open-minded about what you can learn from other women. Do not be fooled into thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Do look at how blessed your life is – even with the challenges you’re facing.
You are remarkable. You undoubtedly are aware of areas in which you feel less than remarkable. Perhaps you yell at your kids too much or you don’t give your husband enough attention or you hold grudges or you’re a gossip or you’re not taking care of your body like you should or you’re not a good homemaker or you don’t volunteer enough or … Okay, obviously we all probably feel like the list is long.
Again, I lovingly say – Enough!
Take one weakness and work on it this week. Don’t complain about it. Don’t dwell on it. Just take action to MAKE A CHANGE. Today.
By the way … This will brighten someone’s day: Congratulations to Tami L. in Trabuco Canyon, California! Out of over 1,500 entries you were randomly selected to receive all that STUFF from The Creative Connection! Email email@example.com with your shipping address and we’ll get that out to you this week!