No matter what you believe or don’t believe, part of cultivating a good life is just being a good person – plain and simple. Obviously there are good people doing good things everywhere – regardless of age, race, or religion. I hope that everyone can benefit from even a teeny tiny part of this post, even if you don’t celebrate Christmas. Another part of cultivating a good life is respecting the right that we all have to believe and worship as we choose. I know we are all so grateful for this freedom and privilege and blessing.
That said, we are now in the Christmas season. I am a Christian, and many of you are Christian … so I wanted to share with you some very tangible ways that we can all stay focused on what really matters during this time. There is far too much attention on the commercial side of things, far too much focus on stuff that doesn’t matter. Far too much unnecessary stress. Today I am sharing some thoughts on how we can strive to stay focused on what Christmas is all about.
1. Quiet time to stay focused. One of the most important ways we can start each day is soaking up the stillness of the morning. Trust me, I really struggle with being consistent with this because I often go to bed way too late. But when I prioritize waking up a few minutes early to pray, study the scriptures, meditate, ponder, etc. I am not only getting started on the right foot for that day, but I am blessing my family. What I mean is – I am more spiritually prepared for the day. I am “fed” and nurtured by putting God first in my day. As a wife and mother and leader in our home, I need to put first things first in order to best serve my family.
2. Nativities as play things. My friend Aimee says “We love nativities. We have a few that are specifically for kids so they can touch, hold, arrange, play, etc. I LOVE it when my kids sit and look and play with all the characters of the nativity.” My friend Lydia does something similar. They have nativity dress-up clothes to act out the story of the birth of Christ every Christmas. Instead of reserving these items for that one occasion, she leaves the basket of clothes out and accessible throughout the holiday season and her kids love dressing up and talking about the story.
3. Christmas morning tradition. Aimee also shared that before they open presents their family gathers around the Christmas tree and they share testimonies first. This means that they share expressions of gratitude, and remind one another about what they believe, and why they celebrate Christmas.
4. Involve the kids in service. Sure, it’s easier to just do things ourselves most of the time, but what does that teach the children? My friend Sydney says that she makes sure her kid are involved in actually handing the canned food over for a canned food drive, going up to the door when delivering treats or neighbor gifts, being involved in choosing or making gifts for their teacher, etc. One of our family’s favorite memories ever was “doorbell ditching” a family, where we left boxes of wrapped presents at their front door. The anticipation of tip-toeing up to the front door (in the rain) and deciding when was the right moment to ring the doorbell, and then sprinting off into the darkness so that we wouldn’t get caught? Truly a priceless memory for our kids. It wouldn’t have been the same if it were just mom + dad “running an errand”.
5. Learn about Jesus. He is the reason for the season, after all. To be sure that they are continually learning about the Savior, my friend Lydia does this with her young family (but it’s also applicable/adaptable for those without kids): Each day in December they focus on one characteristic or aspect of the life of Jesus. This is usually very casual and very short & sweet as they sit around the table for dinner. One day might be “Jesus is the Light of the World” and they read a related scripture and sing a song and light candles. Another day might be “Jesus calmed the sea” and another day might be “Jesus wants me to be thankful”.
6. Random acts of service. Each day throughout the season, my friend Melanie and her family are sure to do at least one small act of kindness for another – usually someone who is not expecting it. I’ve been inspired to do the same and have been enjoying this so much already. For example, Melanie’s kids called their aunt on her birthday and sang to her. They paid for the car behind them in the drive-through. They put a note and candy in the mailbox for their mail man. There are so many small ways to brighten someone else’s day.
7. What gifts will we give? Brandi and her family focus on how the 3 wise men brought gifts to Jesus when he was born and this turns into a discussion of what “gift” they can give to the Savior in the coming year. For example, one child will try hard to be a peacemaker. Another wants to work on saying their prayers. And so on. My friend Andrea does this as well and they put their written-down gifts inside a little ornament box on the tree and read them the following year. My friend Tresure does a similar thing in her family. Each family member writes their “gift” on a piece of paper and they all put their thing in a box, which is then wrapped and tied with a pretty bow. That gift sits on a shelf where the whole family can see it all year long, and it serves as a reminder. My sister-in-law Melinda shared that in their family, the kids each choose carefully 3 of their good toys that they will give to another child that is not as fortunate.
8. Books. There are endless Christmas books available and sooo many good ones! My friend Carrie shared with me that in their family, they are sure to read a Christmas book every night during the holiday season. Specifically, they choose books that include touching stories about the true spirit of Christmas. They discuss how the characters in the stories have done Christlike acts, and it motivates them to do the same.
9. Charitable acts. Sometimes charity comes in the form of money. One of my brothers and his wife started a new tradition in their family last year after their dear friends lost their little daughter to cancer. Instead of buying gifts for neighbors and colleagues they decided to give a lump sum of money to St. Jude’s. They, and their children, are reminded during that process of how blessed they are to be healthy, and to be together. My brother has survived cancer twice now, and I know how much this means to their family.
10. Advent calendar. Another brother and sister-in-law have a twist on their advent calendar. There is still a little treat for the kids for each day, but there is also a scripture for the day; a reminder to follow Christ’s example and do as He would do.
11. Set the tone early. David’s sister Debbie and her husband are sure to have a dedicated “Family Night” at the very beginning of the Christmas season. Here they talk about the true meaning Christmas before all the hoopla starts and the commercialism sets in. They read the story of Christ’s birth from the Bible, act out the story, etc. My friend Tina does this but instead of keeping it to just their family, they invite lots of friends to come over as they put on a whole Christmas program. They all sing together and Tina says that they have had very touching experiences and very fond memories from doing this each year.
12. Skip the shopping. My sister-in-law Heidi said that as a child, every night in December her mom would read them a Christmas story. One of those stories was For the Man who Hated Christmas (which sounds awful, but you really need to read it to understand – it’s a quick read and very touching). Heidi said, “When my dad was battling pancreatic cancer, my younger sister came up with the BEST Christmas present for my dad. Each of our families would do our own service project. We would write it up with a picture and stick it in a white envelope. During the night of Christmas Eve, we would each sneak over to their home and place the envelope on the Christmas tree. Since that Christmas eight years ago, we have continued to do this. There is no exchange of physical gifts. Instead, my parents spend Christmas day opening up each letter to read the service project that was done in their honor. It is much harder to arrange a service project for your family than it is buy a gift. It takes time, planning, patience and a lot of work. This work falls on me as a mother. However, the blessings we have received as a family are priceless.”
As we try to stay focused on keeping the spirit of Christmas in our hearts and homes, may we develop habits that will carry with us throughtout the year. Please feel free to share your thoughts and experiences on what you do in your own life and home, and with your family.
Lovely ideas Becky. Thank you for sharing.
Love this post Becky. I think it is so important to let our kids interact with the nativity. I just wrote a post about celebrating advent with a toddler that has some good ideas/free resources too! http://www.themomcreative.com/2011/12/three-tools-for-celebrating-advent-with-a-toddler-nativity-sale.html
Excellent. Thanks for sharing Jessica!
Thank you for this very timely reminder of what is really important this holiday season!
Becky, I love that you took the time to share this post. With all of the “Happy Holiday” wishes going around, it means so much to remember that we are celebrating CHRISTmas.
A gentle reminder: “I hope that everyone can benefit from even a teeny tiny part of this post, even if you don’t celebrate Christmas. Another part of cultivating a good life is respecting the right that we all have to believe and worship as we choose. I know we are all so grateful for this freedom and privilege and blessing.” ~ Becky
There are several other holidays {Holy Days} during this time of year, important to other religious beliefs. Nobody is trying to take Christ out of Christmas. People are choosing to wish others happiness, regardless of which Holy Day they celebrate – and even if they don’t celebrate any. If you don’t know, Happy Holidays covers everyone. If you do know what Holy Day someone celebrates, recognizing that is always appreciated.
I know there are areas of this country where an overwhelming majority of the populations are Christians. In my opinion, it is just as important to acknowledge those very few who don’t celebrate Christmas as in those areas with sizable groups of different faiths.
…. Even some Christians don’t celebrate Christmas; Jehovah’s Witnesses comes to mind.
Every year we pack shoe boxes for Operation Christmas child. These boxes go to children in countries who do not get gifts. Since the boxes have to be packed in November before the season starts, I find this sets the right perspective for us. My husband and I each packed a box when we were just a couple. Once we had my daughter, we packed one for her until she was old enough to do it herself. We did the same for my son. My kids are now old enough to shop for things to put in the box and pack them. We hope to teach them to show love in a tangible way and also to realize that we give just as Christ gave first.
I love this Katherine.
Beautifully said Becky. Thanks for sharing.
This is fabulous! Thanks for taking the time to write about this! Jesus is ABSOLUTELY the reason for CHRISTmas!
I know this isn’t really a new idea, but we still do it. At our church, we pick an Angel off the Angel Tree.
This year, my son picked a 6 year old boy who likes Legos. My 4 year old daughter really wanted the space shuttle set we got him to be for her brother. While I thought this was sweet, I know that eventually this will teach her how lucky she is. One day she will realize that some children don’t have any gifts at Christmas.
With the economy, it’s easy to forget these simple things and think someone else will do it. I think we have to keep trying to spread the love.
Good follows good and that’s what Jesus wants.
These all sound great and we’ve done a couple of these. Thanks for sharing, Becky!
When we lived in Atlanta and had a fireplace, we placed our main Nativity on the hearth of the fireplace. When the kids came down on Christmas Day, “Santa” had moved it to under the tree and in front of the presents…reminding us of the real “reason for the season!”
Cathy, who now has a 32 year old and a 28 year old and lives in Florida, with no fireplace!
Becky,
I’m so grateful for the first paragraph in this post. You’re right. No matter what we believe, or don’t believe, there are many of us who are kind, giving, humble, and grateful throughout the year–just as you are. It’s wonderful to model and instill those values in our children, whether we call it “faith” or not. Focusing on acts of service during this time of year is very special.
Merry Christmas!
Joanna
Just wondering where you got your Nativity from. I’ve been looking for a more modern one. Thanks!
I love #12 Skip the shopping. Please tell us more about the service projects your family has done.
I LOVE this post…..what wonderful ideas! I also love the photo of the nativity..so beautiful!!
Thank you for such a beautiful post. I love, LOVE, L.O.V.E Cathy’s tradition of having “Santa” move the Nativity under the tree in front of the presents! What a beautiful, meaningful tradition. My husband and I made the choice before our first child’s first Christmas to not “do” Santa, but if we did – WOW, what a great idea!
Last year I took our oldest (she was just about five then) to the grocery store with me about two weeks before Christmas and let her pick out food for us to donate to the food bank. I encouraged her to pick the foods that she loves to eat to donate: mac & cheese, tomato soup, fruits, etc. A few items I told her to please pick one for the food bank and one for us. She and I both had a great time and I am sure this will be an annual tradition for us.
I also love the tradition of opening Christmas cards and letters as a family at dinner time and saying a prayer for the sender. Reading Christmas books and singing Christmas songs before bed each night in December in only the light of the Christmas tree is also a special time for us.
I know of families who give each of their children just three Christmas gifts each, which is something my husband and I also love as all three of our kids have birthdays within two months of Christmas. One family says simply that if three gifts was good enough for Jesus than it is good enough for them!
I know of another family who does three gifts: something their child needs, something they want, and something to share.
Love this post, Becky. Just what I needed in so many ways. Blessings to you, sister.
Wonderful…thank you for sharing:)
What a wonderful post filled with ideas to celebrate our Savior’s birth!
We have a tradition of ‘playing’ with our nativity. The nativity is set up in the living room as a focal point of our decorations. All the pieces are there except one-baby Jesus. Everyday during December, Jesus ‘travels’ from place to place around our house and is finally placed in the nativity scene on Christmas morning. Each day one child has a turn to make Jesus ‘travel’ to a new spot, rotating so everyone has a turn. Jesus can be found in all sorts of places-on the bathroom counter, on top of the washing machine, etc. But, that’s just the point-Jesus can be found in our everyday lives in our everday places. My kids LOVE this and it help us keep the focal point of Christmas fresh, fun and meaninful.
Blessings to you for a most Merry Christmas!!
To help with keeping the commercialism at bay, many years ago we decided to only give one gift to each person in the family. Because we have four kids everyone still receives 5 gifts (+stocking stuffers). It meant we really have to put effort into giving that special gift and not just putting something under the tree.
All your suggestions are fantastic. Love the random acts of kindness; but, especially love the ‘what gifts will we give (to Jesus)’ displayed all year. These gifts could so very easily spill over into action; like obedience, respecting my parents, etc.
thanks for sharing your thoughts.
After I read the blog about Keeping the Spirit, I was given the perfect opportunity to do just that later in the day. I treated myself to Starbucks and the man in the car behind me yelled out his window (very politely) and asked me what my license plate meant as well as the frame around it. I chuckled as I told him and he laughed and thanked me. Well, why not pay for his drink. The guy taking my money asked me if I knew him and when I said “No” he thought I was nuts. I just smiled and said to wish him Merry Christmas. The man followed me out and raised his coffee cup to thank me. I’m still smiling. All this for $1.95 cup of coffee. Best day I have had in a long time. Thanks for reminding me about the little things.
love this! I bought gloves for a kid at the gas station and swear it warmed my heart more than his hands! Merry Christmas!
I just wrote my December parenting column along these lines. http://www.newsregister.com/article?articleTitle=family+values+not+something+you+can+buy–1323360439–2197–hardy
Love your openness and honesty! I completely agree that cultivating a good life is living in keeping with our spiritual principles.
I love this post! In particular, I love how you included everyone, using such gentle words: “….even if you don’t celebrate Christmas. Another part of cultivating a good life is respecting the right that we all have to believe and worship as we choose. I know we are all so grateful for this freedom and privilege and blessing.”
Until recently, we chose “Angel Kids” every year, starting with our daughter’s first Christmas. Our employer provided a tree for county services, who provided the tags, which include first name, gender, age, clothing sizes and – after about a decade – one gift wish. I always selected children who matched mine in gender and age.
…..As early as kindergarten, our kids helped purchase the gifts. By 3rd grade, we gave each one $50 to spend. I still remember the year my middle child’s Angel Kid asked for a CD player [yea, he's 19 now]. He picked one out – and then checked to see that it ran on AC and battery power. Why? Well Mom if they don’t have electricity he can use batteries. If the batteries die, I hope he has electricity. {I added a large supply of batteries and claimed the total was just $50.}
…..We stopped a few years ago, when my kids were older than the Angel Kids. We’re looking for a replacement.
Sexy Girls…
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