I know lately there’s been a huge emphasis on all the new products. We’re all so excited, and it really is fun to think about the cool designs and practical memory-keeping solutions that will be in our hands later this year. It feels completely appropriate to constantly remind ourselves of why this matters, what this is all about – not just the Project Life system, but the idea of documenting life at all, in any format.
We received an email from Michelle in Michigan and with her permission, I’m sharing it here because I know without a doubt this will be just the inspiration that someone will need on cultivating a good life – and recording it.
From Michelle: I am on my second year of Project Life with last year being my first attempt. Documenting for it gave my whole family more pictures of my dad than we would have had had I not begun the process. Your inspiration as well as others (Ali Edwards especially) led me to document as much as I could those last days together—even before we knew they were the last. While still painful to look at, I am forever grateful for those pictures … capturing that last year.
In the spring of 2011 before his cancer returned, I was able to take some random, un-posed and incredibly beautiful pictures of my dad that I will always hold dear. Without all of the encouragement, I might have not picked up my camera as often. My dad had been “cancer-free” for only 6 months (though we suspect not as free as we had hoped), but we were blessed to have him an incredible 16 months post diagnosis … longer than many others. As you said, time is just so precious and should be cherished, even and especially when the days turn so painful, heart-wrenching and difficult.
My heart breaks for your brother, his family and your entire family with the days ahead … and yet, it is moments like these that make you truly understand what loving and cherishing family and friends is all about … in this gift of life we are all given. As someone who works in estate planning, I have seen moments of passing tear families apart, but God blessed my parents and my family as my dad’s passing (incredibly painful as it was) brought my 2 sisters, brother and myself even closer than before. I pray those same blessings for you and your siblings.
…..
That was Michelle’s email to accompany the donation that she was making to my brother’s family. She did this in memory of her dad who passed away in October of last year from esophageal cancer. It goes without saying that I am deeply moved by her email, very grateful for her donation, and further inspired to keep on photographing + preserving memories.
If you missed the post about my brother, please check it out. It truly was the most difficult post I had to write, but I have been – my family has been – very moved by the outpouring of love and support and generous donations. The deadline to place an ad on my blog with 100% of the donations going to Jonathan’s family has ended this week. Those ads will all go live this Saturday.
However, ANY donations in ANY amount from ANY person, family, organization, or company – are still welcomed and so, so, so appreciated. If you are able to contribute even just a few dollars to my brother’s family to help ease the burdens they’re facing, email brandi@beckyhiggins.com and she will let you know how simple it is.
Tags: ads for jonathan, cancer
Becky and Michelle,
Thanks for sharing your stories. I echo your sentiments about taking more random pictures as a result of Project Life. I used PL for “picture of the day” in 2009 and 2010. If I had not be in the POTD frame of mind, I would not have taken a camera with me the last day I saw my grandfather. I was blessed to take a picture of my grandpa, my dad, myself, and my girls together. Grandpa died unexpectedly 5 days later. That is the only picture I have of my girls with their great-grandfather and I cherish it beyond words.
Crying…crying…crying…
Thank you for sharing that story. I have watched my dad battle cancer twice and because of it we take father/daughters trips each year. We are a family of picture takers but of things and nature. Because of Becky and Project Life I have made it a priority to take pictures of my dad and my sister on these trips so I have those memories.
I have tried using the email for Brandi but my email says that is an invalid format and won’t send it through. Any suggestions?
Hi Melanie,
I am sorry you are having a hard time sending an email over to me. Have you tried just typing in my email address?
brandi@beckyhiggins.com
I just tried it from my home email to see if maybe that wasn’t as picky. Fingers crossed
Michelle,
I love that picture of your Dad, it is beautiful. My father died when I was 21 about 14 years ago, so I love that you have that picture and cherish it.
It never goes away, but it does get better, it just takes a really long time.
Kristan, you are so right. It never does go away, it just hurts a teeny tiny bit less every day.
Hi Kristan,
I so, so cherish that photo! I am so grateful for the photo instruction and inspiration that has taught me not to wait for the “perfect” moment but to snap away, knowing it will arise when I least expect it
)
One of the gifts my dad left me was the knowledge and understanding of how much he loved and cherished us. My pain, and I pray yours too, comes from loss of having that love near, though I am learning that it never really goes away…that love. It is the one thing remaining, even as time eases the pain of letting go. It is a true gift to love someone and to be loved…I know too many that don’t feel that way for a whole variety of reasons. To me, that is an even bigger loss. Thanks for the encouragement
)
Michelle
What a beautiful post and I am sending all my love and blessings. I lost my father 17 years ago to colon cancer and there isn’t a day that goes by without him close to my heart. It was a very difficult time for all of us, he was so young. I cherish all the pictures and memories (I have been scrapbooking for a long long time) so am happy this has always been a part of my life.
Praying that you all stay close during this time and that your love will keep you strong.
I’m so happy to have found scrapbooking, where with this creative outlet, this “hobby,” we are investing in our families. What could be better?
I have been using your project life since 2009, the fist one, i did not get the chance to have the entire kit because its sold out but was able to print the free downloads you shared. I do this to document life everyday good or bad…but this last February as i am doing the PL again this year, i stopped…My father died last Feb 4, 2012 and i did not see him…the last time i saw him was year 2010 when we visited them in the Philippines. I stopped my process with the PL because i just cannot comprehend to look at his pictures because i really miss him so much and i really regret not seeing him alive for the last time and say goodbye. But seeing this blog post made me realize why i should do .. to capture and cherish and remember what life we have “good or Bad”. Now i am going back to doing what i should, to remember and cherished how my father lived his full life with us by documenting it using PL. Like what Michelle said, its painful to look at, but i will also be forever be grateful for the pictures i have taken from our last vacation together with my father. Thank you Becky for the inspiration.
Rica,
In this process of grieving, I have found that some moments of looking back at the pictures are soooo painful, but in that intense pain, it actually helps me to grieve better and deeper. In the grief support literature, it actually suggests looking at photos because it helps you to process your pain. So often, we tend to avoid it.
Just make sure you give yourself a lot of grace, some time, and a box of tissues. There are so many good moments in that pain…it will hurt, but you will cherish that time. Might I suggest that you journal your thoughts for just a few moments (sometimes this helps you to release more of your grief), and capture that experience of looking at the pictures too as part of your grief process? You don’t have to take a picture of yourself. You can maybe take a photo of all your pictures, work area, finished pages, etc. So one day, you will be able to remember how you embraced this painful moment as well. My prayers are with you.
Take comfort in knowing you are not alone in missing your dad! So many ache the same way.
Michelle in Michigan
Yes. Quite simply, this is the reason we do it.
I have been doing PL since it was Project 365
. I have donated to your brother’s family. I wish it could be more. I wish I had the money to help him heal. Sometimes life just plai. Stinks, but with what you are doing and have done, more people are recording their lives and getting those precious memories on film, to treasure forever. Thank you for being YOU. God Bless.
I’m not sure what is worse…watching a loved one battle cancer and slowly pass away, or losing someone suddenly to a heart attack, or, unfortunately more than once in my family, it has been suicide. That brings up a whole host of other emotions that I cannot begin to explain. Regardless, you’ve all reminded me why I must continue to take pictures and document life…the everyday events…not just the “fun” stuff that we all put in our albums. There was a time in my life that getting out of bed was a struggle, and scrapbooking helped me heal from loss and appreciate the many blessings I still have. I hope it helps all of you too.
Hi Lois,
I lost my dad in October of last year…now little more than a month away for the one year anniversary of his death. In March of this year, unexpectedly, my dad’s older sister (just 68 and relatively healthy) died from a blood clot on the way home from Florida. Her daughter, my cousin, was at my house when the call came from her father. I can surely say after living it both ways that I don’t know that there is a better or easier way. I would have liked to see my father suffer less, but the pain of not being able to say good-bye for my cousin was unbelievably painful.
What I do know is that it felt like I was reliving my own father’s death and I put down my camera feeling like the pain was too much to bear. However, doing PL later, I found I had pictures of her from recent family get-togethers…we had been trying hard after my dad’s death in honor of him and what it means to be an extended family. I was able to do some beautiful things with that. Plus her memorial literature…all of it goes into my PL binder giving me grace for when the camera seems impossible to pick up. I hope this brings you some encouragement for the good and difficult days of life that we all experience. I do believe documenting this journey helps in so many ways.
Take care,
Michelle in Michigan
I have to do this… My mom’s cancer has returned but by the grace of God her numbers have reduced to 4… Pretty much she will have to fight it for the rest of her life unless we have a greater miracle… I have paid more attention to listening to her and wanting to spend time with her… Now I need to take my camera out and take pictures lots of pictures… I live away from her now and Im going to ask my son and father to please make a point of taking pictures for us… Thank you so much for sharing… i know I treasure every picture and hand written note I have of and from my sister before losing her in a mud slide 20 years ago… This just makes so much sense…
Hi Julie,
My brother lives in NYC and my sister lived in Ohio while my other sister and I both lived near my dad in Michigan. With tear-filled eyes, both of my siblings, have thanked me for the pictures I took.
For those who live near your loved ones, sometimes picking up that camera is the hardest thing to do. We were blessed to all be together that last week of my dad’s life. It was a very hard and painful week for my dad and us. Picking up the camera did not feel right, but occassionally I would take out my Iphone and snap shots of the family in different rooms. Those pictures preserved the family unity (though not perfect…there is no Norman Rockwell family that I have seen) in a way that we are all grateful for.
My point is that sometimes you have to be the one to pick up the camera. I am not sure where I found the strength, but I photographed the ambulance leaving down the driveway with my dad after he had passed. Today, it is one of the most poignant pictures we have and my siblings have thanked me profusely for capturing that. Be strong and courageous…for YOU do have to do this…for these moments pass all too quickly both in time and physical memory.
God bless,
Michelle in Michigan
just to let you know that i made a small financial donation…every little bit helps…i sent my donation with lots of hugs and prayers for your family…been there…done that…my heart goes out to you all…